I once knew a salsa instructor in Spain who was
scrawny with a jacked up grill, but women flocked
to him like bees to honey.
And no, it wasn't just the swivel hips.
They stood around him, giggling to each other about
how he was just so sensual. That is because he really
paid attention to them. He noted a nice perfume and
complimented new haircuts.
When he spoke to a woman, he looked her in the eye,
and he listened to what she said. He appreciated
every detail that made a woman pleasing, and she
appreciated him back.
You don't have to be a Spanish dance instructor to
make women melt, although it helps. Just take some
cues from the guy. Before you can be a sensual
lover, you have to be a sensual person, and that's
achieved in paying attention to the details. Stop
and smell the roses, if you will.
Let's say you are going to have a private dinner
prepared for you by world-renowned chef Mario
Batali. As you're being served course after course
of some of the finest cuisine in the world, are you
going to just shovel it into your mouth in order to
fill your stomach?
Or are you going to savor each bite, taking in the
artistry of the flavors? Option one may make you
full, but you have not enjoyed the meal to its full
potential.
This is all too often how men approach life, which
is why they approach sex in the same manner. They
know that getting off is nice, so that becomes the
goal of the act. Much in the same way wolfing down
Batali's meal won't allow you to appreciate the
complex flavors, madly pumping your way through sex
doesn't allow you the full experience.
The easiest way to correct this behavior is to
slooooow doooown. This doesn't mean that you should
continue the same humping method, just slower. It
means, slow everything down.
Close your eyes, and take a deep breath through
your nose. Notice what you smell. Maybe it's
nothing, or maybe something is cooking in the
background, and you can pick out the faint smell of
garlic. Now do this with your partner. Close your
eyes - cutting off one sense heightens the other.
Breathe her scent in. Note what you smell, and how
it is unique to her.
Run your finger tips along her skin. Feel how soft
it is in comparison to yours. Now look her over.
Really look her over. See how her body is different
from any other woman's body. Maybe she has a scar
on her knee that you never noticed before. Using
all your senses helps you to really appreciate your
partner. The more you appreciate her, the more you
can please her, and the better the sex is for both
parties.
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